We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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