Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
