just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
