they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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