Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
