What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
