this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
