I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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