I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
