I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
