You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
