WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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