I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
