His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
