look no pants
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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