why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
