What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
