seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
