T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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