im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
