Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
