Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This house was built for laser tag.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
