I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
