I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
