I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
