You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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