I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think people are normalizing furries
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
