Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
