Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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