found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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