at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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