New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
