so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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