i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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