Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
