I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
