would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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