That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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