take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
