Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
