we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
