Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
