the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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