Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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