you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
zippers are such a cool invention
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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