she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My breasts were aching with rage.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
