He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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