I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
is that a dick in a sweater?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
