its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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