i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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